Month: June 2025

3 Minutes if Brahms

I’m pretty confused , hurt – and now angry.. Marcia. How could you be visiting out here – less than a mile away,

and   NOT. EVEN. A. PHONECALL. Or a quick visit??

This is the second time.

I know I’m not supposed to take things personally, but this one is hard.

Practice inclusion not exclusion.

I don’t think I love you anymore.

I wrote this in an earlier post – but, I think it is important to write it again:

the theory of compartmentalization of decay. When trees get an injury the cells around the wound change and put up a wall that contains the process of decay. Around that wall, a different kind of change in the cells  forms another wall. and so on, and so on…. The protective walls allowed the growth of wood to continue around the injury, even as it turned hollow.

How to start.  I fell apart in so many ways. For at least the past 5 years I have been mistreating my body. Eating crap. Munching down supplements, and thinking I was taking care of myself. What a joke .

I have heard that theres a force – God? not ,sure but, i think—- first tends to shake you. Then with no response, maybe the shaking becomes more. Maybe even a smack, a slap or two. Well – I got punched.   Got the flu, got pneumonia. Wound up again in the hospital with low oxygen levels. Now I’m home. Working on my oxygen levels. But – most importantly working on me. This was a huge wake up call. I am re-reexamining all aspects of my life. In particular I am now eating healthy. No more chips, fried foods, bad snacks. This is huge for me. I am paying attention to my body. I am starting to take better care of myself.  In solid nutrition. Also working on what’s important to me. I may not have that much longer to live – there are no guarantees. I want to be there for people I love .

And Tom – what he has done to take care of me. I could not continue to live like this without him.  And Carter, Patrick, Alina. I am thankful they are here.

I sacrificed myself for Anita. I knew I was getting sick too. I didn’t know what to do. So, I took care of her until I got bakc to GJ. Then I fell apart.

Listening – to me, to people I love, to my body. To music. What’s important now. Where do I go from here? I am thankful I am getting another chance. Someone is watching out for me…mom? something higher that I don’t quite understand.