My new mantra – why not?? Give me a reason – why not I ask.
We travelled east in November for my niece’s wedding, and also to visit my Aunt and cousin, and visit with Tom’s mom. Julia’s wedding was beautiful. Probably around 200 people.
Directly after the wedding we drove to DC to see my aunt and cousin. Then the Shit hit the fan. Immediately Cindy asked about the wedding. We told her it was beautiful. She asked how many people we told her about 200. She went ballistic. She said something like – ‘.. and she couldn’t invite me??’ Tom and I were dumfounded. Why wasn’t she invited? Why wasn’t she included? Of course this caused a huge row with my sister – who proceeded to tell me that basically only friends of Julia’s and Garrett’s were invited. NOT TRUE. Many of her and David’s friends were there; including friends from Philly, friends from trips, friends from New Rochelle.
Then Pat played her usual poor me card. She said we were gossiping about her. She said this was her daughter’s wedding. I had ‘wronged’ her? SHe said she would never have wanted to hurt Cindy. Whoa – did you not think about your actions? Did you really think you were being persecuted? Did you learn nothing from the Nancy Sherl incident at your wedding? And David—- where was your ‘voice of reason’? I walk on eggs around my sister. Would it have been so crazy for them to invite Cindy? Would it have been so crazy to tell me on our way out that she did not invite Cindy. Then we might have been able to shut it down as soon as Cindy started asking. Instead Pat got all bent out of shape. Cindy was incredibly hurt. It was an unfortunate incident that did not need to play out the way it did.
So – WHY NOT?? Give me a reason! Practice Inclusion.
You got to give what you take.